The Road to PBP (and other stuff)

** WARNING! **

Rant to follow. Sometimes you just have to blow off some steam.
If you’re tired of whiny bicyclists, skip this entry.
***

In this day and age with oil prices over $100 a barrel, Global Warming looming, and traffic congestion so bad that major urban centers are considering a driving “tax” for entering the city in a car, it is wonderful to see the Cambridge Police Department taking a stand. Yes, the CPD has decided to crack down on the real culprits here, the bicyclists.

As I was riding my bike down Hampshire Street today, I committed a heinous crime. I came to an intersection and stopped — with my foot on the ground — and waited for the light to change. After some time, as there were no cars or pedestrians within miles, I got bored and crossed the street. Luckily for me and society, there was a police officer squatting behind a parked car on the other side of the intersection who leaped out into the bike lane and wrote me a ticket (J-walkers beware!). My new friend explained to me that, ever since the weather turned nice, the Police Department has been receiving a lot of complaints from “other bicyclists” so they are starting an “education” campaign. I was stunned. I had no idea that the problem of J-walking had grown to such epic proportions that “other bicyclists” were complaining. I thank my lucky stars that he was there to “educate” me! Thank goodness the Cambridge Police Department is diverting valuable resources away from fighting dangerous crimes to show me the error of my now-reformed ways!

So thank you Cambridge Police Department! Thank you for crushing the spirit of those of us who are trying to do what’s right for the environment; for beating down those of us who are trying to make city life more pleasant by cutting down on congestion; for picking on the little guys who are doing their part to keep your city healthy and clean! Bra-VO Cambridge Police Department! Bra-VO!

PS. Tip for the CPD: If you’re really so short on cash, you might want to post someone by the light on Mass Ave at Church Street in Harvard Square. That light never changes. If you lurk behind the parked cars in that area, you can ticket every pedestrian who tries to cross the street and, considering the amount foot traffic in Harvard Square, at $20 a pop, you could probably make quite a haul.

PPS. Ok. I’m sorry I ran the red light but, honestly CPD, don’t you have better things to do with your time?? Are my taxes really being used to bust bicyclists??